Bloated

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year the turkey was made ala brine. A lovely recipe from Martha Stewart which called for bourbon, salt, and sugar created the most tender and tasty bird made to date. Yummy! Who knew Jim Beam could pull off something like that. Although the smell of it took me back to many a year in high school consuming Jack or the like in the backseat of a friends Chevy Nova which in turn led to barfing on my shoes and passing out on the bathroom floor. It's a good thing bourbon is no longer consumed. Anyway, there were lots of great Thanksgiving eats, lesbians singing folk songs, and one bear in training in attendance to equal the day out. The fridge is now holding leftovers which will more than likely be chucked by the end of the week. Cannot bear the thought of attempting to eat any more stuffing or green bean casserole.

Due to the inhalation of food last Thursday and the celebration of my womanhood (which is 7 days early due to the fact that there is a continual struggle to see who's cycle wins, mine or Miss B's) I am so bloated it's killing me. Feels as though my belly is as far out as it could possibly go. The paving of stretch marks with every breath. The belt had to be offset one from the usual notch. Why in the world is it that women bloat around their period? It feels as though I could currently be placed in the bay and sent off to float away to China the way my stomach has distended this time around. Perhaps a good food cleanse is in order. Anything to reduce the massive girth I now call my own.

Miss B has begun her "sugar cleanse". It's part of the South Beach diet but she's not following it to the T. In the sweetest way possible she did ask if I would like to join her in this venture seeing as it would make meal preparation easier. I don't think I have it in me. Being on any kind of "diet" reminds me of being a young fat kid and hearing my mom consistently say "Oh honey, do you really want to eat that peanut butter sandwich? Would be good for you to get to the doctor or nutritionist and get a special diet." To say the very least, I am diet adverse. I wish miss B the best of luck but will continue to have my chocolate when needed. Props to her for giving it a try!