Return to singlehood-briefly

Yesterday was a flashback to what life was like as a single soul. Took the car in for an oil change, walked to the Metreon to catch The Incredibles, washed, vacuumed, and detailed the car, watched two episodes of Six Feet Under, made the decision to forego a shower, and finally headed to The Eagle Tavern to meet up with Bear-in-Training, Derek. Essentially I wandered through the day looking for things to fill my time and still get stuff accomplished. When paired up it seems this changes a bit. The goal of getting things accomplished is still there however finding things to fill my time is not. Is that because it's now planning for two and there are twice as many things to do? Are there that many more things to do as a couple? Does the fact that taking more time to get out of bed throw the whole thing off?

Both ways of living life are good. Never ever thought I would get to a place where I felt that way about being single nor did it appear that this could happen in couplehood due to the rollercoaster feeling of relationships. The seven months prior to meeting Miss B were a conscious effort to finally take a look inward and see what the hole in my core was when not in a relationship. Whew there was lots of stuff in there! Restlessness, discontent with myself, lack of spirituality, and the ability to take the focus off of my needs/faults/wants/areas of development and the skill of taking those things and making it all about someone else. How easy it is to avoid self improvement when so much more time could be spent attempting to fix and repair someone else. In those seven months for the first time I went inward and found ways to continually work on me. This involved yoga, bike riding, reading, living alone, leaving work at work and leaving work at 5pm every day no matter what, attempting to date and not relationship hunt to find my next LTR, sobering up, and hurling myself into a world somewhat more conscious and aware than I ever had before. The experiment has left me with a much more well prepared person for both a relationship and singlehood. It's going to take a lot of work to keep this the norm, to refrain from falling into old habits. Is this the kind of stuff you learn in your mid-thirties?

Aside from all of this, a woman did shamelessly hit on my last night at The Eagle Tavern. Her pick up line was "I was asking my friend where all the women were and here you are!". Mind you, she was not only three but four sheets to the wind, a good 10 years older, and essentially hitting on the only one of three women there. She offered up to take me to the Wildside West then dancing at a "new" monthly women's venue called Cream. (Which is essentially Club Q in disguise, same venue, same bridge and tunnel crew, and same DJ from what I read.) Sheepshily I declined, thanked her for the offer, and went back to being a wallflower amongst the bears, the place felt to be most comfortable and familiar. Even had I been single this would have not been viewed as an accomplishment. But hey, it did give BIT Derek and I something to giggle about.

Warning....Six Feet Under is as addictive as crack cocaine. I picked up the first disc to season two on Monday and since then have almost made my way through episode 5 of disc two. This is an added feature of finally purchasing a DVD player. The next rainy Saturday you encounter rent a boat load of them and enjoy the show. It's good stuff!