Come out come out where ever you are!

Went out to dinner at Chow last night with a friend from middle/high school in good old Prairie du Sac, WI. Miss B joined us and it was an evening of rehashing growing up G-A-Y gay in the midwest. Brett and I got to know one another in 7th grade in our fast tracked english class. Yes, we are old enough to remember the tracking system. All the smarties were in one class, average Joes/Janes in another, and the struggling scholars were lumped together in their own class. This seemed to work in the early 80's and am sure it still exists in one form or the other, the simple difference is that it isn't called tracking per say. Anyway, Brett and I attended the class taught by Mrs. Bender. She was fantastic! Mrs. Bender was meant to work with kids in their early teens. She just got us. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Bender knew how "special" Brett and I were even though it was unbeknownst to ourselves. Oddly enough, we both waited until our later 20's to come out. What were we waiting for? Who knows. We both blame it on our Lutheran and Presbyterian upbringing and the fact that we didn't really know what the heck it meant to be G-A-Y gay. There we no examples of it and it certainly wasn't talked about around the dinner table. I mean really, picture Mel Lohr saying "Ah yeah, I was down at the feed mill today and I saw Farmer Jimmy and his partner. They were on their way to the HRC rally downtown being put on by the Catholic church.". It didn't happen like that at all. The only images seen of gay culture in smalltown USA were from television. Charles Nelson Riley of Matchgame, Richard Simmons, and Mr. Brady which was confusing because he was married to Carol and posing in the straight world. Oh, and speaking of the Brady Bunch, don't forget Alice who was perhaps the only dyke icon in the limelight. Being gay was not a topic for discussion. And if it ever was brought up it was whispered and people were said to be that way with a limp wrist motion. Words like fag and queerbait were considered completely acceptable and used frequently. Perhaps it is becoming clearer why Brett and I came out of the closet but it took a whole lot of kicking, screaming, and clutching to the closet door first because we didn't want to be different or that way. As we got on into high school Brett was in the show choir and I was a dyke jock. Our circles didn't run as frequently together but still our paths crossed. We were seen as these two oddities whom could get along even though we belong to such opposite social arenas. The lines were crossed. We ate lunch together from time to time, went out for pizza here and there, and heaven forbid, I even attended a musical or two which he was cast as lead. (I love musicals and this is hard to admit, even now!) Over the years we have stayed in touch and it's always good to see him. He now lives in Washington DC and has been with his partner for 10 years. We talked a lot about how it's odd that we gays simply can't have the same rights that straight couples do like medical power of attorney, estate planning, visitation rights in the hospital, and all the stuff the moral majority is afraid we are going to "ruin" should we be given these rights. And now we have a president who thinks it's a great idea to change the constitution to take these rights away for certain. Using a document like the constitution to discriminate against others. That's pretty smart, don't you think? Our disdain for Monkey Bush was discussed at length as well. And rather than be in fear that he will be re-elected, Brett suggested the power of positive thinking and to think thoughts of President-elect Kerry. I'm with Brett on that one.

As I was on my way home I thought to call my family and let them know that I saw someone from the midwest whom they know. This always makes them really excited. We were chatting for a bit after they asked what Brett was doing now, how his family in WI were doing, blah blah blah, and the discussion moved towards politics. My dad asked who I was voting for and I said the choice was obvious. He then went on to state the President Bush was in Onalaska and "Kerry the Fairy" was in Milwaukee. Hm. And I wonder why I was afraid to come out....