Let's Do This Again Sometime

Why is it after a not-so-hotso date with someone, even if there is no intention to ever ever ever to see this person again, the ever famous line is either "Let's do this again sometime!" or the popular "I'll call you.". Suppose throughout the entire encounter all that was running through one's head was "Please let me make it out of here alive." or "I am going to shoot myself if I have to listen to her laugh hideously one more time.". Even on dates where there is no risk whatsoever, say, just meeting up for coffee, the point at which it is determined by both parties that it's time to go and there is no apparent chemistry, these types of lines are still pulled out to make departure less awkward. Guess it wouldn't be the most polite thing in the world to get up and say "This was the worst date ever. Take care and don't bother calling.". The phrase take care is perhaps is one of the least ineffectual lines on the planet. Whatever the case may be, it is truly one of the wierdest moments in the whole world of dating.

Case and point. My very first online date was obtained after searching Craig's List (mistake number one) after the second or third "breakup" from Miss Portland. (Long story and that will be for some other post or it may very well never make it in here, who knows. But for now, let's leave it at that, shall we?) Clearly rebounding, having no idea where to start and the cyber community was making progress in leaps and bounds hooking lonely individuals up, off I went into a place that I knew nothing about--that being dating, much less attempting to do so online. Answering a few posts here and there, hoping to hear something, anything, even potential rejection just to know if my emails were making it through. Eventually someone wrote back and I didn't know quite what to do. A few notes of correspondence went back and forth, none of which said much. No photos exchanged. (Mistake number two.) At some point we decided to meet for coffee, what was there to lose? The second I figured out who my mystery date was, I wanted to flee to a place far far away. Knew immediately there was no attraction and had no desire to strike up a conversation of any kind. Instead, I sat for two hours attempting to pretend interested in non-profits, her longing for the east coast, and the desired state of polyamory. I must have become too twitchy for words and she got the hint and asked me for an escort to her vehicle. Being the "nice" midwesterner that I was, of course the answer was "Um, ok, sure.". Upon arrival at the truck, the online date turned real gave me a hug, stated she had fun to which I of course extremely awkwardly piped up "Let's do this again sometime." She answered "Yes of course, I will email you!". Never heard from her again. Certainly didn't do my part either to make any sort of contact. Whew. Clearly we were both too cowardly to say that this was perhaps the most uninspiring date either one of us had ever been on.

Lesson learned: if you are truly bored and didn't have a good date, call it a night, thank them for their time and move on. I'm lucky now to have found a gal I never had to say these things to because I liked her the minute I heard her giggle. (Which was within the first 30 seconds of conversation!) But I do most certainly do remember how difficult it is to end a bad date. Perhaps the rest of the world simply has more balls than I do to reject someone and not leave it at niceties. It's that midwestern politeness I guess....