Boxed Lunch--An evening at the Lesbington

The Lesbington Club (also known as the Lexington) was packed last night due to the release party for the book entitled Boxed Lunch. This is the only drinking establishment in the city of San Francisco which is for lesbians 24/7. In order to be a very socially active/aware lesbian here, a good calendar must be kept to ensure you arrive at the right bar, the right time, on the correct date. If not, you could be very well walking into Fag Fridays at the End Up or a Tighty Whitey/mud wrestling contest at the Eagle. (Which is not a bad thing at all!) If it is ladies being sought, be sure to check and recheck prior to making the trek. Hm. That rhymes. Go figure. Anyhoo, Boxed Lunch is all about the art of making women very happy down there. This is a term my mother introduced to me when explaining the birds and bees, to make her point that it was in fact sacred territory, no boys should ever touch me down there. I took her advice and look at me now. Perhaps I was a literalist from the very start. Give me clear instructions...Again, off topic. Ladies turned out in droves to get a look at the new book and one another. My friend A decided that it is always best to be escorted to the Lesbington, never to go it alone. Sort of like camping...you never know what might be out there. Plastic caps, greasy hair, pants falling off the ass, oh my! There was a nice girl at the bar named Corinne whom had recently moved to the city from Minneapolis. She grew up in North Dakota but didn't have a Midwestern accent which is shocking. Have you ever seen Fargo? Now there is an accent! Corinne was not tainted by the ways of the Lesbington. She actually spoke to someone she did not know, that being myself and Adriana. There are a few unspoken rules at the Lesbington. 1) do not talk to strangers 2) do not look at anyone outside of your direct circle of friends 3) appear to be horrified and run away quickly should anyone new attempt to talk to you. Make them feel like an idiot for doing so. These three rules, among others make it very challenging to meet girls at the bar. The DJ was in a serious 80's mode. Played everything from the Footloose soundtrack to Michael Jackson. Why is it lesbians love 80's music so much? Is it because it is familiar? Reminds them of being younger? For some, it may in fact be seen as "so retro!". Mind you there is nothing wrong with 80's music. Perhaps the DJ is spinning her youth record collection and doesn't want to invest or upgrade to the 90's or 2000's. At any rate, it was a good night out and Ms. Diana got a very good turn out for the book release. Three cheers to better pleasure for women down there!

After looking around for a bit upon my arrival at the Lesbington, I was reminded once again (perhaps the 800th time that day) how lucky I am to have found Ms. Becky. I do not have to sift through the trolls, plastic caps, socially dysfunct, freaky in a not so good way, plethora of women whom always made me nervous and extremely uneasy, looking to find a potential dating partner in crime. I have found the dating partner and she makes my heart go all whooshily inside day in and day out. So much more wonderfulness than I ever could have imagined. Perhaps it's because I found her in the park and not at the Lesbington. Although through a random turn of events we did end up at the bar after the park. At any rate, I have got myself a wonderful gal and will do my darndest not to mess this one up! I really don't want to get thrown back into the world of plastic caps, PBR, and being so nervous all I can do is look at my shoes.

On the political news front, I was listening to an interview on NPR (big surprise!) with the man who was the genius behind the movie about George W. Bush, the counter to Fahrenheit 9/11. The topic at hand was how President Bush has blurred the line between church and state moreso than any other president in history. (Why is it "more than any other president in history" keeps coming up as a term to describe this buffoon?) Once in office, Monkey Bush developed a "Prayer Team" whom are on staff at the White House 24/7 in the event of a world emergency. Sure, he needs to do whatever he needs to do but why are my federal tax dollars paying for Team Prayer? Monkey Bush needs to keep religion and state separate. Our existence as a country depends upon it. No more pushing the right wing Christian agenda on the US of A! This interview went further to state that Monkey Bush was chosen by divine intervention/divine right because of the statement that he felt "the lard was telling him his country needed him". I think it all the coke he snorted was messing with him. To quote another Republican, why didn't Monkey Bush Just say no!. Please answer that question for me. So much for our cokehead President.