Say YES to Michigan

The state theme was "Say YES to Michigan" sometime in the 80's. Growing up in Wisconsin, one would think that a pilgrimidge would have been made to the state of blue and gold, Lions, and Tigers however nothing could be further from the truth. My parents went to Michigan once from what I can recall. It was to visit my mom's best friend Mona who lived in some suburb of Detroit. Shocking, don't most people? Anyway, the visit to Miss B's parents was great. We spent the majority of our time in Ann Arbor and Chelsea, the home of Jiffy Mix. Even got to see the Jiffy Mix factory and everything. I had no idea.

After a four hour ride from Muskegon where the ferry dropped us off, we finally arrived at Miss B's parents house. There had been some sort of pooping drama with their miniature dog upon our arrival and it was unclear if the dog logs were dropped by Pocha or the neighbor's pooch Jasmine. At any rate, there was conversation and confusion amidst the meeting of the parents for the first time. We were greeted with the best food in days! Seared tuna, cucumber salad, seaweed salad, and strawberries and ice cream for dessert. Such a change of pace from the grease and cheese we had been dining on previously. Throw in a couple of glasses of wine and it was a great first meeting. Miss B's mom did, within the first two hours of our visit ask if we had already had a committment ceremony. B replied "Um, no mom, you would have been invited to come to that. But we are engaged.". Not much said about it after that other than "Skeets", (Miss B's mom) had found an article a while ago about gay weddings, gay rings, and saved it for us to read while suggesting we purchase rings for the wedding with gay symbols on them. I let Miss B handle that conversation. I merely continued to drink my wine and nod when appropriate.

The bed situation at the Pryor household was that of twin beds. We fell asleep every night for a while together. Eventually Miss B would get up to go into her bed as two adults in a twin is not ideal. We were so excited to get home to our bed! We talk about it every night now before we go to sleep.

Our first full day in Michigan was spent with my friend Ceef, a pal from Peace Corps who is working on his PhD in environmental psychology at the U of M. We went to the ever famous Cafe Zola where the Bear in Training used to work. The food was fantastic and the coffee the best found in the midwest. It was the triple latte I had been dreaming about for days since leaving San Francisco. Ceef filled us in on his world and the life of disortation and school. After lunch he and Miss B gave me a tour of the campus. We saw his office building, Miss B's former dorm, the different parts of campus. At some point we ended up by the Law library and directly across from that is a bar called Dominic's. There were eight million different kinds of microbrews to choose from and we got a pitcher of something or other and chatted more. That Ceef, he is one funny guy! Eventually we had to make our way onto the next friend destination, Miss B's pal Kristy. When we got to her place we were greeted by 3 small children and Kristy. We hung out with them for a while and it's hard to catch up with 3 babies in the room. Kristy would just get a good story going and there would be a CRASH or SCREAM from the next room and keeping track of all the topics amidst all the mayhem was a challenge. I guess that is what life with children is like. They were so welcoming and nice, just like midwesterners should be, right? After the time with children we headed to the Aut' bar in Ann Arbor to have dinner with two more of Miss B's friends from Lansing. At this point I had some sort of stomach condition ailing me. (Either the beer or the wine from the night before, not sure.) So the visit was good but I was hiding under a mask of "Oh my living lord I am going to hurl on my shoes!". It's a cute little bar with character and a fun night out, despite the gastrinomical challenges. At some point we made it back to Miss B's parents house and crashed.

The next day was all about Miss B's brother, sister in law, niece, and two nephews ranging in age from 2 up to 6. They were adorable and so fun to play with. We did lots of wrestling, Candyland, soccer, basketball, and tickeling. They wore us out! The funniest thing was getting questions from Bella, the 4 year old. She was completely confused by my hair cut, voice, and general appearance. Once the adults were out of the room it was as though I was being interrogated. "Why do you look like a boy? Why is your hair so short? Why do you wear so many rings? Why does your voice sound like a boy? What's your name again?" and so on. At one point the older nephew Mason decided to declare that my name was "Boy Dude". They also really liked that I was so rough and tumble with them, which is a bit more of a struggle with Miss B. I threw them around like mad and they loved it! My NBF also become Zacharay, the two year old. He was the cutest. Would just walk up, grab my hand, and say "Pauline, come here!". This of course went over well with the parents and thank goodness I did well with Scott and Deanna. We all stayed up until 11pm and Miss B and I got to crash in Bella's bed. How sweet is this: Every friday night Scott has a slumber party in the basement with Bella and Mason. No matter what. Can you believe it? Amazing. At any rate, they completely wore us out and we slept in until 8am.

On Saturday we went to Mason's baseball game for a while which was fantastic. Picture 6 year old boys playing Coach Pitch ball. Some of them would much rather build sand castles at second base then actually field the ball. Hilarious. After that was over we went to Miss B's parents again for an afternoon cookout and the kids, Scott, and Deanna joined us there. They were so welcoming and meeting all of them was such a pleasure. Couldn't ask for a better visit.

Michigan is alright.

Miss B said YES!

Miss B and I survived the trip to the midwest! Flew into Chicago on Saturday the 11th and we were off and running from there. While waiting for our luggage to appear from the turnstile, I gazed in amazement that we were truly in the Middle of the West. The fashion, (or difference in fashion would be more appropriate), the "Join the Military to save freedom in America" adverts, and degree to which people are H-U-G-E, all completely shocked me. Especially the hugeness factor. Miss B and I looked like supermodels compared to the bulky folks encountered. Turning to Miss B and whispered in her ear "We are normal size here!". Not saying that we truly are small by any means but sheesh, these folks know where the trough is for sure! Can't imagine how heavy I would be at this point in my life had I stuck around to become a farm wife with three kids and a teaching job at the local high school. Probably be driving one of those electric scooters from class to class yelling at kids to stop making out in the hallway. Once the luggage magically appear from the depths below, it was time to head curbside for the rental car shuttle. Landed a two door silver Chevy cavalier. That thing was a dog. But it did get us around very economically and didn't break down so it's all good. Took forever and a day to get out of Chicago with the toll roads and packed roadways of weekend traffic. We were also in the land of american made vehicles. Didn't see subaru until 4 days into the vacation! Nuts I tell you!

The first stop was at my sister's place in Cross Plains, WI. Population 2,000. It's a cute little town just outside of Madison and will soon be one of the many super-burbs being created with the "choose from our 5 housing models" communities. It's close enough that people feel as though they are living in the country but can get to Madison in 15 minutes or less barring no traffic. Went out for dinner at the local bar and watched a movie, soon thereafter going to bed. Woke up Sunday morning and it was time to meet Ma and Pa Lohr. No more delaying it, the time had arrived. We got to the farm and hung out for a bit. Everyone was very nice and I certainly didn't give them enough credit as they were on their best behavior. They were all busy working on this and that, as farmer do, even on Sundays. After a short visit we hopped back in the car and went to the blossoming metropolis of Viroqua, population 1,000 or less. On our way there billboards lined the highways stating that society should vote and pray to end abortions. Or perhaps it was pray and vote, not sure. At any rate, we had hit the true midwest which really isn't the one I grew up in. I remember the progressiveness of Madison and as a kid thinking "Wow, these people are forward thinking!". When there now it seems like a place filled with flag waving, bible thumping, marry your cousins because the Lord said it was ok, kind of folks. Is this because I live in Disneyland of progressivism? Perhaps. However it does appear things have taken a turn to the conservative and a hard core one at that. Eventually, despite all the horrific and offensive billboards, we arrived to visit with my younger brother Tommy and his family. At one point is son Zachary was convinced he was going to come back to California with Becky and I. He had it all worked out. His mom would simply pick him up at the airport when it was time for him to come home. Makes sense to a four year old, with the most amazing bargaining skills ever seen! They also have a girl named Vanessa who is the cutest thing ever! She was ~ 4 months old the last time and my how she has grown. Unfortunate for her, she certainly has the "Lohr look" and will by no means be not be recognized as one. We had a great visit with them and made our way back to the farm.

The next few days involved many visits with nieces and nephews, cousins, and family family family! We stained the deck at the farm house because of course it wouldn't be a visit without accomplishing some kind of work. It's a different kind of work however and don't mind it so much seeing as I got to use my back rather than my brain in overdrive for a change. The last night we stayed in WI mom organized a cookout and dinner for the whole crew including some extended family. (Yes, this includes you Mike!) We sat around telling stories, listening to Miss B play the guitar and sing alongs, great midwestern food including macaroni AND potato salad, and drinking beer. Everyone taking some time out of their busy work schedules to hang out and have fun, which is a rarity in the Lohr household. We left on Wednesday morning for Milwaukee to catch the ferry to Muskegon, MI. Prior to our departure Dad had come into the house and was bending our ear a bit more with stories about Grandma Lohr and how his swearing habits developed as a kid which have certainly carried onto his adulthood. Never in my life have I heard such a combination of swear adjectives put together in such a manner as they do when coming out of his mouth. He got us giggling and said "Well come here then!" which meant I needed to come over and give him a hug. Mel then shook Miss B's hand, said it was nice to meet her and apologized for swearing so much. A crack up? I think so.

Once on the ferry and making our way to Michigan, I was turning green with anticipation, nerves, and sea sickness. Miss B and I went up to the "sun deck" which was on that day more appropriately called the "check out the gray clouds and how freezing it is out here" deck. We were the only ones braving the chilly conditions, looking at the skyline of Milwaukee fading in the distance. Eventually I inquired if Miss B could handle spending more time with the Lohr family in the future. She said it was a great visit and that it wouldn't be a problem at all. I then pulled a ring out of my pocket and asked her to marry me. SHE SAID YES! (Adriana, you are totally right and I am a big lunkhead for ever thinking she may say no.) We hugged and kissed and smiled for what seemed like hours on end with the declaration of our commitment to one another. We will have a ceremony but it won't be for another 1 to 2 years seeing as my parents are still getting used to the idea that I sleep with girls. And not in a friend kind of way....

I must stop writing for a bit. The next installation will be the Michigan portion of the trip. I finally said yes to Michigan. Although I will never cheer on the blue and gold, it is a nice place. Till next time!

Um....What?!?!

Monday I was on my run around Holly Park to train for the upcoming PRIDE run put on by the San Francisco Frontrunners. They are the GLBT organization whom organize weekly runs of all varying distances. This is the next race Miss B, the Bear in Training, and myself are going to indulge ourselves. It's the same trail as our previous "race" and should be much more enjoyable than the snobby runners crowd we found ourselves surrounded with last time. It's June 25th. Wish us luck! At any rate, while on the last lap around I saw a gentleman come around the corner of Holly Park and Highland carrying two 40 ouncers in a brown paper bag, something from Burger King, and a full on weight bench on his head. It was fully assembled, even had the leg lift function which kept swinging back in forth in the high winds of the afternoon on the hill. He continued to walk down the middle of the road, cautiously over the speed bumps as not to drop anything or stumble. At the same time he was mumbling gibberish of which I couldn't understand at the top of his lungs. Something like "@#$% will show %&**@ a thing or two...." and so on. As the last turn was made I caught a glimpse of him still trudging up the hill swaying from side to side from the wind and perhaps too much of whatever it was in his system. For the cool down I walked one more lap around and caught up to him. A car pulled up behind and could go neither ahead or to the side due to cars parked along the street and park as well as being on a blind curve. The man carrying the weight bench did not move an inch and clearly knew there was a car behind him. The guy in the car mouthed the words "What the f#$k!" and smacked himself on the forehead in disbelief while shrugging his shoulders. He then rolled down his window down, poked his head out the window, looked at me and said "What's up with THIS guy?" to which I giggled and replied "No idea.". The weight bench and 40 ouncer carrying guy continued up the hill (over to Mission St I presume) and eventually the guy in the car passed him. It's days like this where I think to myself, "I do in fact live in San Francisco.".

My aunt Neah is in town this weekend with her grandson visiting San Francisco. He is the youngest of her grandchildern and when each of them graduated from high school, they get to go on the trip of their choice with her to any city they like in the US. The other kids picked Orlando, Nashville, DC, but Phillip wanted to go to San Francisco because he wanted to see what a "liberal" city was like. He's from middle-of-nowhere-conservative-small town-Wisconsin and apparently it's been quite the eye opening experience. Miss B and I met up with them at Chow last night for dinner and put our listening ears on because my oh my, Aunt Neah can talk! Heard all about her retirement parties (a very recent event), all the relatives long forgotten, her arthritic knee, and blah blah blah. You get the picture. It was so sweet of her to meet up with her, even with the inundation of conversation which really wasn't conversation at all, more listening. We did spend some time talking about how stupid Monkey Bush is (easy to do) and how opposite the rest of the Lohr clan feels about the knothead. They were also very sweet to Miss B and well, how couldn't you be?!?!? It was good to see her again and cousin Phillip whom I hadn't seen since he was a baby.

Miss B and I begin the "Meet the Families Tour" (sort of like when Guns and Roses went on the Appetite for Destruction tour minus the heroin, slutty chicks, and alcohol consumption) in the midwest. We fly out early early on Saturday morning (what were we thinking?!?!) and land in Chicago Saturday afternoon. From there we drive to Wisconsin first where mom has made it clear to my younger brother that she isn't comfortable with me being gay and bringing home a girl. I don't get it. I really don't. Not asking her to be comfortable or understand it at all. Just accept it but that doesn't seem to be happening. I have been "a gay" outwardly for almost 10 years now. And certainly was gay as all get out before that. Not sure what more it will take to show her that this will stick. Anyway, on the 15th we will board the ferry from Milwaukee to Muskegon and then drive to Chelsea, just outside of Ann Arbor. Miss B's family is much more broken into the "partner" thing and are actually excited about meeting me. Will report on this and more in posts to come! Viva la midwest.

Life in Oz

There is some sort of internal struggle going on with my organs. The last two nights sleeping has been fitful while sweating profusely. Awaking every few hours soaked from the amount of heat I'm throwing is less than comforting. Add in a massive headache and the chills and you've got what's been happening to me during sleep hours. Being here has been less than enjoyable however there's simply too much going on to go home. Terrible attitude, I know. Not sure if it is the artichoke dish I made last night for dinner or just a bug. I'm voting for the bug. Might be wise to take the night off from yoga and running just to hang out and do nothing. Although sometimes yoga can send me back on the mend like nothing else.

Watched a documentary last night about coming out in the developing world. There were interviews and case studies from Cairo to Namibia, gay and lesbian alike. With the advent of Stonewall and equal rights for the gay community here in the late 60's and early 70's, the same sort of movements were formed throughout the world. The horrifying sights in the film were demonstrating just how closeted even now people have to live in the developing world. There was actual footage of world leaders in these countries saying "Let them be gay in the Netherlands, gay in the United States, but not here! Gays must be killed and removed from the country!". I do remember one friend of mine in Peace Corps discussing gay issues in her village, which was considered taboo and I for one never broached the subject. (Keep in mind I was so far in the closet at that point that even I didn't think I was gay!) When she brought it up the simple response was that gays did not exist. There was no such thing in the villages and if they did, Allah would strike them down. There were gay people there and not once was one struck down. Although to the degree of which they were "out" was minimal, if at all. The documentary's main focus was about the 52 men sentenced to 3 years in jail for the crime of "debauchery" as opposed to being gay, which there were no laws against. There were countless stories of life in the developing world where there is a high possibility that harm will come to you should you come out. It's easy to forget these issues living in a place like San Francisco, the gayest of the gay.